What should you say to a friend or a family member, who just informed you that they have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease?
Like most people, when faced with the news that someone has Parkinson’s disease, you would want to have the right reaction, say the right thing, and provide the right kind of support they need at that moment. However, as a compassionate person, you will try to balance all the emotions you are feeling and ask questions in a polite manner. It is quite possible that you end up asking a question or making a statement that is the last thing the person wants to hear.
Keeping this in mind, this article lays down the phrases that work well as well as those that you should refrain from using.
What Not to Say
You don’t look very sick.
What to Say
You are looking really great! I hope you’re feeling good too
One of the most important facts about Parkinson’s is that the diagnosed person might not display any signs that can be commonly interpreted as sickness. However, it does not mean that they do not possess the symptoms of the disease.
For instance, they might look absolutely okay and have a smile on their faces, but their feet might be collapsing, making it quite difficult for them to even take a step further. Similarly, during an outing, they might seem fine, but it is possible that they can hardly concentrate on the conversation as they would be worried about their left leg giving out.
Parkinson’s is a disease that affects the body 24/7. So telling someone that they are not looking sick is nothing more than minimizing the array of grave symptoms they must be feeling.
What Not to Say
How are you feeling?
What to Say
It’s great to see you. I have been waiting to tell you about (something that you know the person would be interested in).
‘How are you feeling’ seems like a legitimate question, if the person concerned has flu or broken a bone. The situation, however, takes a completely different meaning when someone suffers from a chronic disease.
You certainly do not want to ask them the same question that others have done already. Instead of asking them about how they feel, focus on how happy you are to see them and help them shift their concentration to something else, preferably toward a thing that piques their interest.
What Not to Say
You seem to be quite good. Your Parkinson’s must be getting better.
What to Say
Wow! I love your dress. I have so many things to tell you.
Parkinson’s never gets better. This disease is absolutely regressive. For a Parkinson’s patient, some days can feel better than others. Help them celebrate those days by all means. As Parkinson’s never gets better or is curable, you should try to help them focus on other things in their lives
What Not to Say
I know how you feel.
What to Say
I would love to know more about Parkinson’s if you are okay with talking about it.
As human beings with compassion, we tend to connect with the problems of our close ones. It’s very natural for us to try and imagine how the other person is feeling because you can never understand what they are going through. We try to build a connection and get closer to them in order to understand their situation, but saying that you understand how they feel would curtail the other person’s story.
To make a connection with them, you should always make them feel safe and assure them how grateful you are to be trusted by them.
What Not to Say
Let me know if I can do anything for you.
What to Say
Would it be okay if I come over and help you with chores this weekend?
It is a very nice gesture to offer to do something for Parkinson’s patients, but it really puts pressure on the person living with Parkinson’s if the question is complicated or open-ended. If you ask them directly about a certain thing that you wish to help with, it’s easier for them to assess the question and give an answer in either a ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
What Not to Say
You are going to be just fine. You have got control of this.
What to Say
I want to help in any possible way.
When you are facing a crucial challenge, and you are aware that despite all medications, you are going to live with Parkinson’s all your life, hearing someone treating it as casual flu is never helpful at all.
Instead, recognize their problems and give assurance to be beside them during the ups and downs in the journey.
What Not to Say
Just think positive.
What to Say
I wish I had something helpful to say or advice, but I am at a loss of words.
It’s quite possible that you might not be aware of the ailment and don’t know much about it. If you want to be helpful but are at a loss of words, say the same. Telling those who have Parkinson’s or anyone with a chronic disease that you don’t know what to say is always better than uttering something wrong, which can’t be taken back.
Knowing what to say and what to avoid can be a tough thing to handle. We hope that this set of phrases will help you when it comes to communicating with your near & dear ones.
Note:
All the content written above is for informational purposes only. Please consult your medical professional before taking any steps regarding your condition.
